Doctor Loo
by Braveheart57
Summary: A collection of one-page fics. Please R&R. Suggestions for future stories welcome/requested. Enjoy!
1. The Airplane

The Doctor had been staring at the seatbelt sign for the last two minutes. The plane had yet to take off. Donna rolled her eyes at the Doctor.

"See, this is why I told you to go before the plane."

The Doctor stopped staring and pretended nothing was wrong.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, stop pretending. I've seen you stare at the seat belt symbol for two whole minutes. It's not gonna turn off faster the more you stare at it." Donna replied.

"Well, my bladder only announces itself every 3 days. When I said I didn't need to go, I really thought it'd last." the Doctor remarked in slight complaint.

"And that's why 'needing to go' shouldn't be the only reason to go to the loo. You can't predict a bladder that wizard!" Donna argued.

The Doctor nodded in agreement. He really shouldn't be so stupid about it. In 900 years of traveling, he had yet to develop any kind of effective schedule.

Few minutes later, the sign turned off. The Doctor thanked Rassilon and went off to the loo.

He wasn't sure upon entering, why Donna hated airplane bathrooms, but he did make a note of the size. Including the size of the bowl.

He unzipped, got into position, focused his aim, and started urinating. He sighed in relief.

One thing the Doctor would come to hate about airplane bathrooms was lack of turbulence proofing. The plane started bumping wildly, sending the Doctor's stream splashing a bit on the seat and floor. The Doctor cursed in Gallifreyan and English. He finished, washed his hands and went to get some toilet paper to clean up the two small puddles of his urine that were now where they very much **shouldn't be**. But there was no paper. Slightly panicked, he called Donna.

'Doctor? What's wrong?'

'Donna! Do you have any tissues in your bag?' he asked nervously

'Yeah,'

'Could you bring me a couple? It's an emergency!'

'Sure' Donna replied.

Slightly confused, Donna went towards the bathroom and handed the tissues to the Doctor. He cleaned up and got back into his seat.

"So, you're gonna tell me what happened or what?" Donna asked, wanting answers.

"Turbulence. Caused a slight... Spill." he explained.

"You missed the bowl?" Donna said, adjusting his words.

The Doctor nodded. "Seat down?" Donna guessed. He nodded again.

"Sorry, should've told you, you need the seat up, 'cause of the turbulence," Donna remarked apologetically.

"Well I'll definitely have to keep that in mind if we're gonna go on a plane again.." the Doctor replied, blushing with embarrassment.

Donna stroked the Doctor's back and smiled, then helpfully changed the subject.


	2. The Bus

The Doctor wriggled in his seat on the bus. Then he crossed his legs. Donna noticed, and asked, "Do you need the loo?"

"A bit", he answered.

"Well, we'll be at my mum's place soon, then you can go" she assured him. He nodded and shifted his focus to the window to gain some patience.

A few minutes later, the bus stopped, but not at a bus stop.

"Why have we stopped?" the Doctor asked, looking ahead of the bus. There was a gridlock of cars in front of them. The bus driver announced what was obvious; they were stuck in traffic.

Both Donna and the Doctor committed to staying optimistic, despite the Doctor now wriggling with crossed legs.

The bus eventually started moving again. A couple stops later, Donna looked over at the Doctor. He was openly grasping his crotch, both legs slammed shut, and shaking with need.

"Just hang in there, alright? Just about 5 more stops left." Donna tried to reassure him.

"I don't think I can, Donna. This is really pushing the limit. Don't think I can wait much longer," the Doctor replied, now completely panicked.

Knowing what would happen if they stayed on the bus, Donna lead the Doctor of the bus at a stop she knew had a street with shops.

They both looked around for a shop that was likely to have a public bathroom. The Doctor spotted a Starbucks, and ran in. As is true most places, the Doctor was fortunately told the restroom was free to use. Donna saw the Doctor running happily to the bathroom, through the window.

It was a single-person bathroom. The Doctor smiled as he stood in front of the toilet, unzipped, and started urinating, to the Doctor's great relief.

_I really need to start remembering to wee __before_ _going on public transport, _the Doctor thought to himself.

He finished and returned to Donna, smiling brightly and feeling much better. They had a nice 20-minute walk to Sylvia's house. The End.


	3. The Queen

The Doctor wriggled on the sofa next to Donna. They were waiting to see the man in charge of Buckingham Palace security.

"You could ask that bloke over there where the loo is," Donna suggested, obviously knowing what he was doing.

"Uh-uh, no way!" the Doctor said, determinedly refusing the suggestion.

"Oi, come on, everyone asks. It's a perfectly normal thing to ask for," Donna countered, insisting.

"It's also perfectly private need of mine. End of discussion." the Doctor said stubbornly, and that was the end of the discussion.

A few minutes and a crossing of legs later, a woman came into the empty waiting room. Specifically, the Queen of England. She took one look at the Doctor, and informed him, "the toilets are down that hallway, third door on the right. I suggest you go quickly before you get an infection." Elizabeth the Second advised him, pointing towards a corridor to the left of the man sitting at the welcome desk.

"Right, yes. Thank you, your Majesty," the Doctor said, blushing slightly, smiling at her like if she were an old friend, which she was. He bowed respectfully at the Holy Monarch, then walked to the loo.

"Seat up, Doctor" Elizabeth II reminded him.

"Yes, your Majesty," he replied obediently from the hallway.

"Seat down.. It's as if he forgot the 2 zeroes of his age," the Queen said to Donna, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah!" Donna replied, chuckling, not at all intimidated by the Holy Monarch standing in front of her.

They then had a nice chat about the Starship Titanic, to which Donna remarked "I thought that was a hoax!", with the Doctor joining in with his side of the story upon his return. The End.


	4. The Flamingo

The Doctor finished setting the TARDIS' destination to a world with the closest climate to "no weather", as Donna had suggested. Taking a single step backwards, he was hit by a signal from his bladder, telling him he needed to pee RIGHT NOW! With that, he ran down a corridor to use whatever bathroom he ran into first. He tried to open the door but found it was locked. Not very keen on running further down to the next one, especially with the chance of Donna walking out any minute, he knocked on the door eagerly.

"Donna, you almost done?" he asked through the door.

"In a bit, I'm going nr 2, sorry!" she replied.

The Doctor was at this time bouncing his knees, wriggling slightly.

"Well, just hurry up, will you?", the Doctor muttered quietly, sighing

"Can't hurry my stomach.." Donna reminded him. The Doctor said nothing, crossing his legs.

10 seconds later, The Doctor started squirming wildly with crossed legs. As it did nothing he resigned to a classic human invention, the pee-pee dance, then hopping on one foot with one leg pulled up, pressing to hold on. Very mild squirming continued. This was the sight Donna saw exiting the bathroom, making a note of the Doctor's pained, desperate expression probably triggered by her flushing the toilet.

"Blimey, you REALLY need the loo, huh?" Donna remarked at the Flamingo/Doctor.

"Yes I really do, now out my way;" the Doctor answered hurriedly, apologizing as he lightly shoved her out of his way, storming into the bathroom and locking the door. next thing Donna heard was the Doctor sighing in joy, muttering "Finally, Allons-y!" to himself, followed by loud pee noises. He emerged with a very clearly relieved smile on his face.

"Better?" Donna asked.

"So much better!" he replied.

"You really need to start listening to your bladder more.." Donna advised.

"Definitely!" the Doctor agreed. They both discussed the Doctor's flamingo pose on the walk back to the console room, with Donna, upon hearing it had been used before, deciding that she definitely needed to put a stop to this.. The End.


End file.
